Wednesday, February 18 / 2:36 p.m.

So I've got a lot of Lana Gatto "Stoccarda" yarn in an off-white colour that, two Christmases ago, was, double-stranded, going to be this (without the holes. I do have some taste):

But the giant cowl looked retarded on me. I have short hair so it made my head look really little. It also kinda looked like a clown ruff. However, I spent loads of cash on the damned yarn so I then decided to make this:

It was another stupid choice (don't you wish you could try handknits on before you, um, knit them?) - the big turtleneck looked just as bad, and the puffed sleeves made my linebacker shoulders ridiculously broad. I think I knew this when I decided to make it, but I thought "hey, the only pattern I have that fits this gauge!" Bleh.
Ripped that out and decided to make it into something, ANYTHING, in order to (a) assuage the guilt for spending $150 (actually, on second thought, it was more) on yarn I was never, ever going to wear, and (b) to get it out of the house already. Doubled, it knits to approx. the same gauge as Big Wool and it's pretty light, so I decided to make this:

I'm really not sure why, since I hate shawl collars and since garter stitch button bands are crummy and since nice giant buttons are hard to find. Also, I've decided I look terrible in superchunky wool. Everybody probably does. Except tiny people who wear giant sweaters and look adorable in them. Stupid tiny people. Anyway.
I am now making this.

It will not use up all the yarn, but it will use up some of it, and it will probably take, oh, 2 hours.

Then I will give it to my friend Kelly, who would probably actually wear a short-sleeved turtleneck, and would probably look good in it too.

Then I will figure out what to do with the remaining yarn. Possibly make a scarf. But (of course) it sheds. And my coat is black. Stupid impulse purchase!

AND AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH, I CAN ONLY FIND ONE OF MY 12 MM KNITTING NEEDLES! IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE EASY TO LOSE! THEY'RE GIGANTIC! And I don't want to buy another pair, because since I've decided I look terrible in superchunky wool (see above), it's unlikely that I'll be using them much in the future. AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH.